Course Description: Politics 101 is the basic course required for entry level candidates in the political process. This course will engage the student at the basic levels of politics including the art of communication and presentation. The course will focus on creating issue positions that have little or no real impact and yet gain the attention of the voter. At the end of the course the student will be able to address an issue in such a manner that every voter believes you have solved the problem without you actually having to do so.
Prerequisites: Doublespeak 101, 201
Fellow Students,
I am Ray McKinney a fellow student in the world of politics. Welcome to the first day of Politics 101. The professor is out today and will be out through the entire process due to circumstances beyond his control. With my first hand experience at the grass roots level I have been asked to facilitate this course based on personal experience.
Today’s lesson is how to craft a message that (1) says all the right things and (2) doesn’t actually solve anything. The goal will be to impress voters without actually solving the problem. Bonus points will be awarded if you can actually contradict yourself in the same statement and not have anyone notice it and points will be awarded if you can say one thing and actually mean another.
For our first lesson we will use a recent press release from a “real” politician. Here is an excerpt of the press release from a candidate for the US House of Representatives made on April 29th, 2008.
““Candidate” has pledged to vote to temporarily eliminate all gas taxes to lower pump prices by an estimated 50 cents a gallon, and to pay for the tax cut by eliminating the billions in tax subsidies currently given to global oil companies. He also supports a comprehensive 10-year plan for U.S. energy independence.”
This is an excellent position to take. Let’s first take a look at “temporarily eliminate”. That sounds good but it’s kind of like temporarily eliminating Al-Qaeda. When you read the statement did you get the feeling that this would solve the problem or did you realize that it only postpones the return of the tax? The average citizen would view this as a solution, problem solved, no worries for the next 30 years. As a student of politics you must realize that this is the candidate’s way of saying I am going to make things better for the next few days but we will worry about the problem later.
Next notice the “50 cents a gallon” part of the statement. Wow, 50 cents!! That is “red meat” to the average reader. The average person is thinking $8 - $15 per tank of fuel and that really does make an impact. This is what we will call a “red flag” in that (1) it attracts the voter like a red flag does a bull and (2) as a student it should attract your scrutiny.
What you may have not noticed is this is a candidate for US House of Representatives. My point? My point is the Federal Gas Tax is 18.4 cents per gallon which, nation wide, would save the average driver a $1.83 per week. The candidate in question only has the authority to deal with the Federal tax but he is implying that he has the power to remove state and local taxes. When you take a look at the “red flag” you can see that it captures the imagination of the intended audience but in reality has little of no impact. On a side note, the candidate is supposedly in favor of limited government but actually takes the position that the Federal government should be mandating tax policy at the state and local level.
Next notice how this candidate supports a 10-plus year plan? What is 10-plus? The last time I took college algebra or basic math for that matter, the equation X = 10 + ? did not have a solution. The average voter will “see” the 10 and not realize that the answer could be 100 or infinity. You have to learn to craft your message so that when the 10 years expires and the “plan” has not come to fruition and that pesky reporter or constituent brings it up you can always point out the plus part. Facts are not part of the political process and are often frowned upon by campaign mangers and politicians in general.
Next notice how the candidate “supports a plan”, not the plan but a plan. Here is a subtle way to say you have an answer without actually giving the answer. It is rare to find a candidate that will actually propose their own plan because once you do it becomes attached to you and if the plan does not work you are stuck with it. I’m sure we all support a plan for world peace we just don’t have a clue what the plan is. If you support “a” plan you have plenty of room to point out that the plan used was not “the” plan you supported. This is why Double Speak 101 and 201 are required to understand this course.
Now for the bonus part, did you catch it? Not in the same press release, or in the same paragraph but in the SAME sentence the candidate contradicts himself by eliminating two items. This is truly a professional and should not be tried by you at home. The first is the “temporary” lift on the gas tax and the second is the elimination of the evil subsidy. For those of you that are not familiar, the subsidy is a tax deduction for things like exploration, remodeling of facilities, job training, you know, the things required to update, modernize, and keep a facility supplied and functioning. Please note the use and the omission of the word “temporarily” in the statement. This will come up later in the class.
The point is the candidate is going to “save” you money by eliminating the tax he charges you at the pump while he is going to “replace” that money by increasing taxes on the company you buy from before it gets to the pump. In effect he is going to increase the cost of business from the very same company you buy from? Where does this company get the money to pay the increased taxes? You, the consumer. You’ve just had one hand removed from your left pocket and another stuck into your right pocket. Did you even notice?
Now for the bonus on the bonus. Did you notice that your tax relief was only “temporarily eliminated” while the tax deduction was “eliminated”. This candidate just told you he is going to raise the tax burden on the cost of your fuel by first removing your tax, offsetting it with a tax increase, and then he is going to replace your tax. Did you even notice? Truly brilliant.
In review.
In 2 sentences this candidate has managed to:
1. Convince you he cares and will solve the problem.
2. Will save you money
3. Will tax the evil oil company
And at the same time:
1. Exceeded his Federal Authority
2. Exchanged one tax revenue source for another
3. Told you he will raise your taxes in the future
4. Has no solution of his own
In conclusion I hope this example has been helpful in understanding the minds of a politician. To understand and appreciate the extreme care that it takes to be able to tell someone you are going to raise their taxes and make them feel good about it. On the face of it I would give this statement an A+ but coming from a Conservative Republican Candidate I have to award even more bonus points for sheer audacity.
Your assignment for this week is to find other examples of Political English statements made by candidates and do your best to translate into English.